


Forever afterlife

by Queen_of_Mischief



Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Beetlejuice being a pervert, F/M, Multi, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:01:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25180567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_of_Mischief/pseuds/Queen_of_Mischief
Summary: Veronica Deetz took her life when she felt lowest and found out she know spends eternity working an office job in the netherworld, but will this job be the thing that connects her back with her family and finds love in an unexpected demon.
Relationships: Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

You know how when you make one shitty mistake and then that mistake becomes a catalyst for your life going from bad to worse? Well that was how one Veronica Deetz felt about her life, being 25 living away from her parents and little sister and all because she chose a fucking druggy asshole over them. So here she was walking back home no not home walking to the apartment she puts money towards, money she doesn’t have, she was walking away from a Halloween party, dressed as she wasn’t even sure what she was supposed to be, and the reason because was that she found her boyfriend of seven years cheating on her with two sluts in matching sexy cat costumes, gee how original.

After the long trek she finally made it to her apartment and quickly entered her home, locking it up and then catching her reflection on the mirror. Looking at herself right now, she had chosen to wear thigh high three inch black heeled boots which strangely didn’t change her 5’3” height, she paired it with elbow length black fingerless gloves, and underneath a red sheer clothed poncho with webs going around the whole thing that sat on below her shoulders and underneath it all wore a black strapless bodysuit that really did show off her figure. How could anyone want anything more from her when she was really giving her whole self to an asshole, she went into her bathroom and took the time to fix up her dark red eyeshadow, black cats eyeliner and a blood red lipstick, before seeing a bottle of pills. 

  
  


Picking them up she takes them into her room and thumbs the bottle, if she chose this she can’t come back but really what does she have left besides herself, her family probably hate her for leaving them, her boyfriend wants nothing to do with her and really what more could she do so with a single twist the bottle opens and she downs the whole thing. It felt like it took forever before she felt her body succumb to her fate, and she was very surprised to find that she woke up, feeling groggy but she woke up, wasn’t she supposed to die? Then she saw it, her body lying dead on her bed and beside her she noticed a book, the handbook for the recently deceased, shrugging she had nothing better to do now she opened it up and had a thorough read through of the book. Okay let’s see if this works, she thought before picking up a chalk piece that must have come from the book and drawing a door and knocking three times, surprisingly it worked and stepping through she found herself in the netherworld.

  
  


*timeskip*

It had been several years since Veronica killed herself and then came to the netherworld and then after that finding out that now she had to work as a ghost social worker because she committed suicide. It was bullshit but that was how she found herself having to do routine checkups at many haunted houses, making sure they were up to code and even meeting some cool ghosts herself. The one downside was her boss, Juno who is a massive bitch that seems to hate Veronica the most, maybe it’s because Veronica calls her out on her bullshit everytime it happens or maybe it’s just Juno being vindictive. Veronica did have one friend though, Mrs Argentina or Tina, and she was like Veronica’s older sister/mentor always there for the younger girl when she was having an off day. One of these very infamous off days, Juno decided to slap Veronica with a new case, “Juno I can’t” “no you must no one else can do this job” “okay that’s bullshit a couple dying in there home is an easy job” Veronica argues only to be replied with smile in her face “you will do this job whether you like it or not, your case and if I hear you have slacked off again I’ll feed you to the sandworm now get out!” Veronica just took the case file and stormed out slumping into her cubicle seat next to Tina. “Juno giving you trouble pequeño?” And receiving a groan in response “little advice pequeño there’s an old friend in that house he should make things more interesting” before Veronica could ask Tina had left to deal with the overload of residents in the waiting room while Veronica opened her case file to research the Maitlands.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica Meets her new charges the Maitlands, the most adorable but boring couple she's ever met, unfortunately she also meets a demon that seems to only treat her as eye candy.

Veronica had been informed by Miss Argentina that her newest case, The Maitlands, had just died and right now Veronica created her own door to the Maitland’s house and stepped through. “Now the only thing that could fuck this up for me is if the Netherworld sends up one of their ‘workers’ …… shit” she heard a male voie say but when she stepped through she couldn’t see anything. She started by surveying the room she found herself in, it was a living room and it gave off such a warm, homely feel that made Veronica feel as if she were alive again. Veronica notes that the fireplace was on, she needs to ask the newly deads about that, and as she looked over everything else she couldn’t find the handbook anywhere “oh fuck me gently with a chainsaw” “I can bring a chainsaw but i can’t promise i’ll be gentle babes” instantly turning around in what could be seen as fright Veronica comes face to face with a man inches taller than her, even with her heels, with green hair and scruffy beard, wearing a pinstripe suit that had moss accents showing that he was definitely an old ghost. “Who are you and why are you here?” she asked him, she knew that he had to be there for something as ghosts when they die either go spend eternity in the abyss, begin work in the netherworld for queen bee Juno or stay in the human world to haunt whoever they could. “Well I’m the ghost with the most hot stuff, and I’m not telling you a thing because you’ll go running to Juno and I don’t need her on my ass. Now enough about work lets get naked” he cheers moving forward only to earn an eyeroll and Veronica’s palm in his face “I don’t have time for this. I'm here to get the maitlands sorted out. Now tell me your name or I’m sending you to the netherworld” she warns “well you can call me daddy if you like and that offer is still on the table” he smirks at her, she took the moment to look him over and she smirks remembering something Juno told her.

“You’re a demon aren’t you? You can’t say your name and you have no power unless a human says it three times in a row” she informs and the demon loses his smirk and reaches into his pocket taking out a card “here”. She reads the card “Beetlejuice?” he nods so she knows that's his name “Okay BJ you know these two are dead so what's the play?” she continues her questioning as she examines the bodies and Beetlejuice examines her ass, “Well I must say for someone who did the deed I’m not complaining at your choice of dress, but I’d like that on the floor” “okay you horny demon let's get one thing straight I just came from hell working under a mythic bitch brought to life … death anyway, I just want to get these two to the netherworld so my boss doesn’t kill me a second time”. “Hey! I ain’t the bad guy here I just want to be free and honestly if you help me I can promise that I’ll make things a lot more interesting for you” going by the way he was moving his eyebrow’s Veronica suspected he was talking in the perverted sense, but she didn’t have anything better to do and honestly she wouldn’t mind seeing what this crazy guy had up his sleeves. Before she could say anything however groans coming from the basement were herd and Beetlejuice pulled Veronica down behind the couch and laid himself on top of her “shhhh” he told her as she tried to move away. “Hey watch where you stick that thing” she whispered back feeling something poke into her back, he didn’t move instead both quietly listened to the newly deads before they inevitably find out they are dead, that came in the form of a single flame that lit Barbara maitland’s hand. Once the flame was out Beetlejuice popped up behind the couch, “hi, do not be afraid you are dead … I am also dead, maybe we can help each other, what's up” he moved around to greet them but they ran away screaming their heads off, honestly it was giving Veronica a giant headache as she left the couch but the maitlands still screamed at her. Just then, when she thought it couldn’t get weirder there was a demon marching band with demon cheerleaders coming in and Beetlejuice stood on the table for some reason.

**BEETLEJUICE: Ready? Okay!**

**Hi! I'll be your guide**

_ Beetlejuice started waving around a small black with a white G on it, Veronica had no idea what was going on, there's just a random musical number. _

**I'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side**

**Don't go to the Netherworld-**

_ As Beetlejuice moved down off the table the maitlands ran the other way only to be blocked by one of the marching band members. _

**ADAM: Netherworld?**

_ In their pursuit away from the green haired man the couple kept finding their exits blocked by more people dancing. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Did I say Netherworld? Never mind**

**I'm the B-to-the-double-E-J-F-U**

**And Jesus, I can't spell**

_ The couple kept running in what looks like to be circles and Veronica throughout all of this was just trying to stay out of the way. _

**DEMON CHEERLEADERS: Hi! He'll be your guide**

**He'll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side**

_ The Cheerleaders took center stage as Beetlejuice moved over to Adam. Veronica had Barbara run into her but just tried to calm the newly dead woman down. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Let's all get naked!**

**MAITLANDS AND VERONICA: No!**

_ The women turned to yell at Beetlejuice and Adam took this chance to run over to Barbara and the other dead woman. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Eh, worth a try**

**I'm the B-to-the-double-E-T-L-E to the J-U-I-C-E**

_ At the end of the beat cymbals crashed and Adam and Barbara were huddled together while Veronica stood off to the side and beetlejuice joined her. _

**BARBARA: What is happening?**

**VERONICA: I understand it's a lot to process**

_ Veronica failed to see Beetlejuice using his power to take control of Veronica and made her copy his movements. _

**BEETLEJUICE: But**

**The good news is you and your spouse**

_ Beetlejuice ran to stand on the cushioned seat and controlled Veronica to dance in front of him like the demon cheerleaders. _

**Died in your own house**

**That gives you clout**

**That means the two of you should stick around**

**Lucky for you I dropped by**

**Yeah, you seem like nice guys**

_ Veronica got moved to the side closer to the maitlands as Beetlejuice stepped down closer to her and had his arm wrapped around her waist and spinning her back into a dip, she was surprised he was a good dancer and that his arms were strong. _

**VERONICA: A little on the Pottery Barn and dry white wine side**

_ She took control and managed to get out of his hold as the dance continued but without her. _

**BEETLEJUICE: As for me, I've been scaring for millennia**

**I'm the bio-exorcist**

**Giving houses enemas**

_ Beetlejuice walks up some open drawers to stand on top of a dresser as the female cheerleaders dance on either side of him. _

**Push out all the breathers**

**You can pray at ease**

**Just stick with me**

**I'm like a ghost-zombie Jesus**

**DEMON CHEERLEADERS: Ghost-zombie Jesus!**

_ Veronica couldn’t hide her groans as the three did an obnoxious jesus pose. _

**BEETLEJUICE: And I do it for the love of it**

_ Beetlejuice walked back down the steps again and Veronica could only hope the singing would stop soon. _

**DEMON CHEERLEADERS: Money?**

**BEETLEJUICE: Ah, who gives a shit**

**I think we're a perfect fit**

**Come on, let's make out a bit**

**DEMON CHEERLEADERS: Yeah! Dead!**

**BEETLEJUICE: It's the perfect day to die**

**'Cause this guy happened to be passing by**

**To give you control of your soul**

_ Once more the maitlands tried running away only for Beetlejuice to run up, grab both of their arms and pull them back to the center. _

**For the whole "being dead" thing**

_ Okay Veronica had to admit the little coordinated dance Beetlejuice did with the undead back was kinda fun and adorable. _

**The whole "being dead" thing!**

**Oh yeah!**

_ Beetlejuice twirls the maitlands around and finishes with them posed in his arms, and Veronica was not jealous. _

Veronica moved forward to continue her work but was surprised when beetlejuice “babs” he said, dipping Barbara Maitland into a kiss and dip much to the woman’s disgust. Veronica wouldn’t be surprised if the guy had maggots in his teeth and smelt awful to newly deads, “excuse me” Adam went to defend his wife “boy do you know how to pick em or what let me ask you a question guy talk,” Beetlejuice fails at nudging Adam’s elbow and Veronica took the time to console Barbara “, how’d you do it? How’d you get her to marry you?” Honestly Veronica wanted to know too but she figured it was Barbara who had the pants in the relationship. Adam didn't answer and only asked “how are you?” “Adam,” Beetlejuice then turned serious which only meant trouble “,do you not recognise me? I’m your father” even for Veronica that was lame and omg Adam fell for it “dad” he said moving closer to Beetlejuice “you are adorable” he said right before dipping Adam into another kiss, how this guy was so horny before dead was beyond Veronica “okay break it up leave the poor newly deads alone” Veronica said yanking Adam out of Beetlejuice’s arms and over to his wife.

“Jealous already babe? Don’t worry there’s enough of me to go around” Beetlejuice said which only made Veronica maddeer at him and not jealous at all. “Excuse me but can someone please tell us what’s going on?” The newly dead couple asked the two and with a glare from Veronica to Beetlejuice she answered “okay well you two are both dead alright and now you are ghosts stuck here in your very beautiful house” the maitlands nod along following “oh thank you we decorated it ourselves” Barbara said while Adam asked a different question “okay so we’re dead but then what are you and he doing here?” “Well I don’t know about him but I’m your case worker here to help aid you both on your path of the afterlife” “you seem a little young and not very professional looking, how old are you?” That question threw Veronica off but she didn’t let it affect her … much “yeah, life and death moments should come with a disclaimer warning if you think your life shit after over 25 years and wanna risk it you shall be forever working as a civil servant for the undead and having a literal demon for a boss” Veronica could see the Maitlands were affected by her story the tension was cut but who else but Beetlejuice “so what I’m hearing is blah blah daddy issues, blah blah asshole boyfriend blah blah pill bottle blah blah blah I’m legal” She would have laughed if she wasn’t already trying not to cry and instead chose to hit Beetlejuice. “Okay that explains you but not him” Barbara said pointing to Beetlejuice “well babs I have been waiting so long for you people to die and now you’re here and I believe we’ll make such a great team don’t you agree?” He said all this as he walked towards Barbara and she kept backing away over to the fireplace and a crib Veronica didn’t notice before as she and Adam kept up pace with them.

“No offense Mr but you give me the creeps” Barbara tells him honestly and normal people might be offended but Veronica had a feeling he wouldn’t “aww thank you very much you give me a boner” he says and Veronica doesn’t bat an eye as he pulls out a bone out of his pocket “that's a femur now we don’t much time and you two need to hire me” Beetlejuice continued “hire you for what?” Adam asked “to teach ya how to scare” “scare? Scare who?” Barb asked beetlejuice “the people who bought your house” Beetlejuice replied putting on a gameshow voice as he yanks Adam back and he was right as the movers came in shocking the newly dead couple “what how we just died” Barbara vocalized her and Adam’s shared shock “yeah sorry guys but time moves differently for the dead, it’s actually been at least two to three months since you died” Veronica pipes up as Adam and Barbara start telling the movers to put their stuff back.

“Boy do these guys have no clue” Beetlejuice whispers to Veronica and she can’t help but agree, “they can’t see us” Adam tells them frustrated and Veronica snarks back “Very good Adam you passed level one of ghosting”. Beetlejuice takes out a metal pole form somewhere as he moves over to Adam’s side “you see the living ignore the dead we are whoo whoo invisible” he said swishing the rod around like a teacher only to then whip Adam’s butt with it, but he didn’t stop there as from her place on the table Veronica watches Beetlejuice stalk Adam over to an available chair. “Breathers worry so much about their stupid little lives most fo them never notice anything strange or unusual unless you make them and thats why you need me” he finished his speech by sitting on Adam’s lap as he posed as if a bucket fo water fell onto them. “You’re gonna help us?” Adam tried to clarify “only for a price an itty bitty price more of a favour really” he explained in a bad country bumpkin impersonation “and will you help us too ...?” Barbara asked coming up to Veronica and hoping to get her name “unfortunately the netherworld offices forbid case workers from directly helping ghosts in these situations and I myself have never heard of a bio-exorcist but it doesn't sound far off what might available for you, so if you so wish to stay here and keep this place breather free then I would suggest asking for help … and sorry forgot to introduce myself I’m Veronica, Veronica Deetz” “well I’m Barbabra maitland and that’s Adam, my husband but you might already know that since you are our case worker” Babs replies. “ now I’m sorry but introductions aside this is all happening so fast, we just died and now you two are here and they are here” Adam said stressing out and thankfully Beetlejuice got off him to properly address the three “now now sexy I know you are worried but you two are special you died together and that almost never happens unless it’s a murder suicide,” “which makes for a very awkward eternity, I should know” “, thanks nica, so just take a breathe metaphorically and just remember,” before Beej could continue one of the movers dropped Adam’s perfectly polished crib.

“Who cares if it's going to the dump” they say as they move it out and that statement upsets Adam “did they say the dump?” he asked the trained ghosts “yes he said the dump” Veronica answered coming up on his side “they can’t take it to the dump” Beej obviously took this time to make his services sound better “they are taking it to the dump and without me they are going to do that to everything”. The newly dead looked to Veronica for proof and she shrugs “going by what they are taking I’d say they will be getting rid of your stuff, normal people don’t like owning things belonging to dead people”. The couple were still unsure and Veronica heard beej chanting “please say yes please say yes” and Barbara took charge again “you’re hired” and Adam followed her “tell us what to do” Veronica was so glad Beej didn’t turn that into a sex joke as he was too preoccupied by celebrating. In the middle of his celebrating he got the other two to the stairs and grabbed Veronica’s hand pulling her behind him and then pushing her ahead “ now get in the attic” he tells them and the other three follow his orders without question. It’s a shame because if Veronica had waited she would have seen the new owner was a very familiar man to her.


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice and Veronica try to teach Barbara and Adam how to scare which may turn out to be harder than it looks and Veronica reveals some more stuff about her.

“And so I was like ‘let’s do this’, and she said ‘but I don’t have any baby oil’ and so i was like ‘but i got some guacamole’ and that is how I ‘made nachos’ with Katherine Hephburn” Beetlejuice finishes his story and veronica can see that his story shocked Adam and Barbara was confused meanwhile Veronica is questioning her sanity and wondering why she was letting this perverted demon take charge of her cases … oh right because she doesn’t like her job and he promised to make things more fun. “I’m sorry but why are we in the attic?” Barbara asked bringing the main topic back, “oh yeah I’m gonna teach you guys how to scare” Beetlejuice reminds the couple and suddenly they get up with a lot more enthusiasm than before, maybe they are finally over the whole being dead thing not that Veronica was complaining as she got up to stand beside Beetlejuice. “Oh Barbara this is like one of our classes” Adam comments “we took these adult recreational classes you know, ballroom dancing, backyard composting” “we just took this amazing glassblowing class” Adam took over before barbara finished “it was so hard we mostly just watched and drank wine” Adam took over again “oh and the teacher was wiccan so it’s kinda like this”. Beetlejuice and Veronica couldn’t believe what they were hearing, oh god/satan these two are gonna be hard work, “he isn’t wiccan” Veronica starts for Beetlejuice to ask “and this is nothing like this don’t you want these people out of your house?” “definitely” Adam stresses “then you have to learn how to scare them?” Beetlejuice says walking to stand in front of them, “well why can’t you scare them for us?” Barbara innocently asks the demon “babs I would love that there is nothing that would give me more pleasure than to kill the people downstairs” “Kill? Hold on we do not want to kill” Adam interjects and Beetelejuice moves closer before speaking in a softer, sweeter voice “it’s a figure of speech Adam Jesus Christ, why you gotta be so sexy?” and giving Adam a little ass pinch and Veronica chuckles on Barbara’s other side “don’t mind him, he’s just pissed that he can’t affect the world of the living like you two”. Beetlejuice doesn’t like being made fun of so he turned it around on Veronica “and don’t ask little miss cock blocker she can’t do anything either since the office doesn’t allow it and I doubt she has powers quite like me so what do you say?” he asks the couple again Adam and Barbara look at each other before they both nodded “Okay” “let's do it” “great and sex in heels want to be my assistant?” he asks Veronica getting close to her “if you use my name Veronica I wouldn’t mind” Beetlejuice puts on a thoughtful face but laughing out loud “not a chance baby doll” he said but not without smacking Veronica’s ass “now on the count of three just yell out the scariest thing you can think of,” he tells the ghost couple “, one two three” “THE TRADER JOE’S PARKING LOT” Veronica and Beetlejuice shared a look of absolute shock at Barbara’s answer but Adam’s took the cake “THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE WHY IS OHIO SO POWERFUL?” Beetlejuice had the most adorable look of pure confusion on his face while Veronica had a dead stare “oh you have your work cut out for you” she says patting his shoulder. 

**BEETLEJUICE: Okay**

**Listen up, I'm not gonna lie**

**Right now, you couldn't frighten a fly**

**Or scare a seagull off of a fry**

_ To further his point Beej acted like a seagull swooping down near adam. _

**You ever stop to ask yourselves "why?"**

**VERONICA: Both of you are super polite**

_ Veronica gestured between the couple to prove her point. _

**Middle class, suburban, and white**

_ Beej then takes his place beside her between the couple and taps his foot to a beat.  _

**BEETLEJUICE: Well, all of that is finished tonight**

**Except for the white part**

**Obviously**

**Take your places**

_ Grabbing Veronica’s wrist, Beej runs over to the side and acts like a director. _

**I want scary faces**

**Now go!**

**VERONICA: Bigger,**

_ The couple was okay so Veronica tried to help them but they weren’t that much better. _

**BEETLEJUICE: further,**

**VERONICA: harder**

**BEEJ & VERONICA: Not bad**

_ The two decided to move on to see if the other two had other strengths. Beej runs over to a chest in the left corner of the attic with the three ghosts behind him. _

**BEEJ: Sever a head**

_ Beej opens a chest and a head pops out scaring the maitlands _

**Preferably someone you know**

**BARBARA: Look at me, I'm so scary**

_ Barbara takes a hold of the head, shocking the demon as she shakily walks to Adam “whose head is that?” he asks and Barbara had to concede “I don’t know” Veronica took the head and put it back in the chest while Barbara wipes her hands on her dress. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Don't be so vanilla**

_ Beetlejuice takes control again putting himself in the middle if the couple _

**Would a little anger kill ya?**

**C'mon, drop your panties**

**I'm trying to fill you**

_ Beetlejuice had restrained himself but couldn’t help but do a mini thrust. _

**With wisdom and skill**

**And the instinct to kill**

**ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone**

_ Adam cut in since he feared this demon could actually kill someone when in Veronica’s mind she doubts he would do that since he needs the breathers. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Fine!**

**But somehow, someway**

**You gotta make 'em see ya'**

**I'm talkin' jumpscares**

_ Veronica took advantage of her short self and jumped up behind the maitlands scaring them _

**The jerky Japanese ghost-walk, plus:**

_ Beetlejuice showed the copy how to do the walk and Veronica ran up to stand on the box and took a swig from a bottle. _

**VERONICA: Learn to throw your voice**

_ She projected her voice to sound all around them before breaking the bottle. _

**Fool your friends**

**Fun at parties**

**ADAM: Now THAT is cool!**

**I wanna do that!**

_ Beetlejuice joined Veronica on the box standing to her left. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Whatever it takes to make 'em go crazy**

**Raising the stakes by punching a baby**

_ Beetlejuice mimed punching a baby and Veronica was getting more worried that he might be able to kill doesn’t mean he will. _

**Scare 'em awake till they break**

**They'll be quaking in fright**

_ Veronica watched amazed as Beetlejuice did some air drums. _

**VERONICA:'Cause you've got some evil deep down inside you**

_ Veronica moves to stand beside the maitlands and pats over Adam’s heart, _

**Put all the farmer's markets behind you**

_ She then mimes throwing their stuff behind them. _

**BEETLEJUICE: You've gotta work**

_ Beetlejuice and Veronica pose with effective scary faces _

**Gotta haunt till it hurts**

_ Adam tries with limited success _

**Through the night**

_ Barbara does the same with the same amount of success _

**And give those guys the fright of their lives**

**Yeah, yeah!**

_ The four moved around in a circle and Beetlejuice gets himself between the maitlands and Veronica “after you scare them while they are still quaking in terror you make them say this” Beetlejuice instructs handing Adam a card and Barbara lays her head on his shoulder to read it “Dolly Levi Matchmaker” Adam says in an overly dramatic fashion. Beetlejuice immediately sees his mistakes and takes it back “no not that one” he puts the old card back and then turning to Veronica he plucks the card out from between her breasts “how did that get there?” she asks him “babydoll I have magic hands, this card” Beej speaks to her before handing Adam the card, “it just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice” Adam says as Beej goes “bingo” walking away “it’s your name isn’t it” Barbara says sounding smart “it’s my middle name my first name is Lawrence” That honestly shocked Veronica “I’ve never heard of a demon named Lawrence” “well of course not because Lawrence isn’t scary but my middle name is”. Adam interjected into the couples’ banter by pointing out “but why do we have to get them to say it we just said it a bunch of times” Beetlejucie was getting a little frustrated and he showed that threw his voice and Veronica could see tiny bits of red through Beej’s hair, she's going to talk to him about that later “because Adam it doesn’t matter if you say it they have to be alive!” Barabara stood close to Adam for emotional support and Veronica patted Beej’s shoulder to remind him of where he was and calming him down “i’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell it's just you make daddy so angry” he says flirtatiously towards Adam and Barbara let go of him. Veronica then brought the point back to their scare lesson. _

**VERONICA: Let's start with things that you hate**

**ADAM: Well, hate's a very strong word**

**BARBARA: Perhaps when people are late**

_ Veronica awkwardly shook her head no. _

**ADAM: Or getting pooped on by birds**

**BEETLEJUICE: No, what fills you with rage?**

_ Beetlejuice needed these two to get the idea.  _

**BARBARA: Being mean to a pet**

_ Veronica had to give Barbara that one _

**ADAM: Chefs who use too much sage when they make beurre noisette**

_ Beetlejuice didn’t want to yell at the two because it wasn’t their fault but he had no way of stopping them.  _

**BARBARA: Over-glutinous food**

_ Beej looks over at Veronica but she looked utterly hopeless  _

**ADAM: Or when kids call me "dude"**

**BARBARA: Oh, I find that so rude!**

_ Beetlejuice was losing hope. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Well, there's lots there to use**

**Take a deep breath**

**And give me your best primal scream**

**BARBARA: Aaaah!**

_ Veronica and Beetlejuice couldn’t believe how bad these two were. _

**ADAM: Barbara, that was brilliant!**

**BARBARA: Really?**

_ Beetlejuice turned Adam around to stop him from distracting Barb and Veronica turned the woman to face her. _

**VERONICA: Try it again**

**Maybe this time pretend like you mean it**

**BARBARA: Aaah!**

_ The only difference was Barbara put on a deeper voice which didn’t help. _

**ADAM: That was even better!**

**BARBARA: Thanks!**

_ Veronica couldn’t help but smile at how cute the couple was and secretly she wanted that with someone. _

**BEETLEJUICE: I want freedom**

**But to get my freedom I need them**

_ Beetlejuice indicated to the Maitlands and Veronica noticed a spotlight on him. _

**To get a living person to say my name**

**VERONICA & THE MAITLANDS: Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse?**

**BEETLEJUICE: I know that beggars can't be choosers**

**But do they have to be such losers?**

**Both of them are deathly dull and lame**

_ Veronica turned behind her to see a choir singing and dancing to Beej’s song and Veronica couldn’t help but join in and one of the choir members, a little girl, handed her a tambourine which Veronica happily danced with. _

**CHOIR & VERONICA: Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse**

_ Beetlejuice then pulled out a microphone out of his coat and sang into it while Veronica danced and sang backup with the choir _

**BEETLEJUICE: Why God, slash Satan, did you send these bed wetters?**

**Even, like, a tax attorney would've been better**

**Somebody with gravitas**

**Somebody to fear who**

**ADAM: Excuse me, Mr. Betelgeuse**

_ Veronica was disappointed the music stopped as Adam talked, stopping the singing and dancing. _

**We can kind of hear you**

**BEETLEJUICE: Yeah?**

_ Beej put away the microphone he had stashed on his coat, while Veronica gave the instrument back to the choir as they left, giving them all compliments. _

**Well, that was a soliloquy so you're the one who's being rude**

**Whatever it takes to make 'em go crazy**

**BARBARA: Turn all the lights on**

**ADAM: Dress like a baby**

_ Beetlejuice and Veronica stared at Adam like he was clinically insane. _

**BEETLEJUICE: Adam, I don't even- No**

**VERONICA: Get your heads in the game**

**THE MAITLANDS: Let's hide their phones**

**BEETLEJUICE: Screw their phones!**

**Ugh, these dopes are both hopeless**

**How will I ever survive?**

**Unless they get the fright of their lives**

**THE MAITLANDS: (Yes yes, we're feelin' it, they're gonna feel it, we're killin' it!)**

_ The demon and case worker could only watch in mild horror as the maitlands kept dancing around while doing very bad scary faces. _

**BEETLEJUICE AND VERONICA: They gotta get the fright of their lives**

**THE MAITLANDS: (We're scary, very, very, scary!)**

**BEETLEJUICE AND VERONICA: They'll never get the fright of their lives**

**THE MAITLANDS: (Yeah!)**

_ Beetlejuice could only bow in his head in his hands to calm down his frustrations at the newly deads, Veronica affectionately pets his hair before he stops her by grabbing her hand and standing up to his full height. _

“Well bye” Beetlejuice said moving to leave but was stopped by barbara saying “what? but you said you’d help us”, Beetlejuice walks to stand between the couple “I wanted to help you guys, It’s literally all I want to do but the two of you are helpless here’s help, here’s you,” He demonstrated by holding his hands apart a comically long distance “,skeep it’s less” he said moving the you hand to the less hand. “Well what do you expect we’re not like you” “I know that Barbara!” Beetlejuice was letting his frustrations out again “no ones like me but that's the problem” he said moving away. Then he did something weird he turned to look up “sorry readers, I know my name is on the book but you’re gonna be reading a new story The maitlands more boring than Music Man,” he starts walking away but then turns back “That’s right I said it fuck music man”.

Veronica was kinda sad for the guy, “so you’re just leaving?” Adam says not believing this guy “yes Adam because this isn’t working out so goodbye, Sayonara, don’t text me in the middle of the night saying you up? Because new phone,” Beej said, milking the silence for effort and to quell his tears ``,who diss, see you in hell! I’m gone” Beetlejuice throws down a smoke bomb which doesn’t work as he's still there. “I’m gonna use the door” he says leaving out the door Veronica looked at the couple who huddled together, she didn’t blame them today had been a strange day “Hey guys,” Beetlejuice calls out and the three turn back to see him standing in the doorway “fuck you guys” he flips the couple off before leaving for good. “That guy needs therapy I hope there's a dead therapist that can give him the help he needs” Barbara nods agreeing with Adam “I doubt it most ghosts wallow in self pity once in the netherworld” “like you?” “Adam!” Veronica glares at Adam ignoring Barbara for now “what's that supposed to mean?” “I can’t believe someone as young and beautiful as you killed yourself” “you don’t know what my life was like, you can’t judge” “I’m not judging but i want to know why? Where was your family?” Veronica pauses and Baraba turns to her “ you don’t need to answer that, Adam just gets passionate sometimes” “it’s fine and to answer your question Adam, I did something and my father wasn’t happy neither was my mother, we shared some harsh words and I left to live with my now ex I guess” “I can’t believe it, did they not try to contact you to find you?” Adam kept going on “I’m fairly certain my parents hated me and wouldn’t care what happened to me” Veronica answers “that can’t be right, they should have been there for you even in death I still would cry at your funeral if i had a daughter like you even if we fought” “yeah weren’t your parents crying at your funeral?” Barabara asked “I don’t know” Veronica’s answers shocked the couple “what?” they both asked “I wasn’t allowed to go to my funeral” “that doesn’t make any sense you knew about it right?” “yes adam but my boss didn’t allow me to go watch my funeral saying that work is already overflowing with dead people she can’t afford me one day off work” Veronica said and surprisingly the couple were sad to hear this and brought her into a group hug “you’re boss sounds horrible” “just know if you were our daughter we would have cried at your funeral, even if we had a big fight we would still be sad without you” Veronica took some time to enjoy the hug not used to being hugged by parental figures.  Veronica then broke the hug “okay but you guys still want the breathers out of this house so what’s the plan?” The maitlands went into this song about them getting scary and when they brought out the sheets was when Veronica knew this plan wouldn’t work and she left to go find Beetlejuice.


End file.
